Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
