if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
