Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize