Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
