So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize