thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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