It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
