Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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