Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize