I will die if light touches me.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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