Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
