Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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