there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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