That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
