You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
