remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
