they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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