But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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