My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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