well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
