Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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