Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
