Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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