Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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