The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
are you so shy because you have an std?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize