One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
