She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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