Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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