you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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