Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
