not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize