billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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