Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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