You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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