yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The uberlube is also flammable
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
