oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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