Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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