she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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