now i know why i became what i already was.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize