What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Still dying that you shit outside
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
