at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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