i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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