Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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