when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
