We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
