There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
