he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
