I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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