I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
