She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
