Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
