So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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