WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
