is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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