shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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