capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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