Non-Jews are for practice
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize