u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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