Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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