So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
