we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
