we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
As shirtless as possible
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
