then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize