Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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