like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
