it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
