What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
