Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Randomize
