His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
