I must be too annoying 4 u.
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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