He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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