You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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